I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
