Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Are we still banned from the library?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Randomize
