Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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