My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Naked Twister starts at high noon
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
