u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.