You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.