I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.