She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking