just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.