No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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