Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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