i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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