11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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