yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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