Your mouth is God's brothel.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
