I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
ugly people sure do ruin things
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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