At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
