I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
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she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
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I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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