The maid of honor just puked.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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