did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
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