I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
