I think I am morally bankrupt
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
