Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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