This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
