I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
