btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
