Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
