she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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