Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
it glows. i had to have it.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize