Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I don't think brook has ever known best
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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