As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
