I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
