Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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