God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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