I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
