what if every blade of grass was a penis?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I think my moral compass just broke
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