Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
