So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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