just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
