Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
