she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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