'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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