He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
