im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
