someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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