How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
