I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
