Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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