it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
