babies were throwing up all over the place
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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