well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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