my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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