God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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