Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
