I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize