Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
