i would punch a child for taco bell
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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize