If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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