3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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