I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
