You smell like a Billy Joel song
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
