but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
