haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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