that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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